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Herschel Walker’s Probably Drunken Video Gains Attention and Blasts Democratic Policies

What The Hell Is Herschel Walker Over Here Talking About? is the title of today’s episode of Man.

The former football player who wants to play for Georgia in the United States Senate welcomed 2022 with a message for the American people, which he delivered by mumbling rapping through a list of clichéd right-wing talking points and calling it “a few things to consider as we begin the New Year.”

Now, it’s not easy to understand what Walker was saying in the video because he was either drunk or there’s a noxious gas leak in the sunken place that whoever does maintenance down there needs to look into, but according to The Guardian, he was criticizing Democratic policies such as those of his opponent, Sen. Raphael Grijalva.

And because Walker, like most prominent Black conservatives, has never expressed an original political thought in his entire political career, his slurry rant sounded like it came straight from a Fox News teleprompter as he slammed Biden’s “Build Back Better” domestic spending plan, which focuses on health care, social care, and climate change—all of which Republicans claim are wastes of money.

“You know I’m always thinking: If you want to build back better, first you probably want to control the border, because you want to know who you’re building it for and why,” Walker said. “Then you probably want to protect your military, because they’re protecting you against people in other countries that don’t like you.”

I’m not sure why Herschel Walker and other white people believe the US military needs to be protected, given that presidents from both parties have signed off on increasing the military budget far more frequently than they have decreased it, but Walker is a man who would rather lie about graduating from college than actually be educated on things, so we shouldn’t be surprised he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Anyway, he went on to reveal that he, too, had no idea what defunding the police entails.

“Defunding the police? Bad idea,” he said. “You want to fund the police so that they have better training, better equipment to protect the law of the land because you don’t want people doing whatever they want to do.” (But cops “doing whatever they want to do” isn’t a problem in the Bootlickers R Us candidate’s mind.)

Walker then returned to the “Build Back Better” topic, which he had undoubtedly forgotten about.

(People, friends don’t drink and film themselves being stupid.)

“Build Back Better. You probably want to become energy independent,” he continued. “Otherwise, you’re going to depend on other countries for your livelihood. Build Back Better. You probably want something written, like law of the land, stating that all men are to be treated equally. Oh! We have the constitution. So, you probably want to put people in charge who’s going to fight for the Constitution.”

Apart from the fact that the “all men are equal” Constitution was written just under 100 years before slavery ended and nearly two centuries before Jim Crow ended, Walker appears to be ignoring the fact that the person who endorsed him for the Senate in the first place also tried to delegitimize legal and constitutionally protected votes through “stop the steal” propaganda in order to stay in office by force after losing his re-election bid.

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